Posted tagged ‘Stacy Campbell’

The Shrewshape E-Mails; To: DracoVox, Re: Spin Control, Again

January 16, 2010

“The devill . . the prowde spirite . . cannot endure to be mocked.”—Thomas More

My Esteemed Colleague DracoVox,

I hesitate to bring this to your attention. It concerns your Patient, the Certifiably. Again! Also your Newlyweds. I hesitate, as you have a deservedly brilliant reputation; you have deftly handled the patients in your vast Reach, and have used the Certifiably very carefully in the past. You redacted his history at KFC and  expertly spinned  the more bizarre behaviors that made it into that Report That Must Not Be Named .  How regrettable! the author was allowed to go on record recanting that he had ever recanted.* And then his untimely departure to that Permanent Place of Punishment, that is, the Enemy’s Presence! And so that dreadful document haunts the Internet still. How I hate that terrible technology! The ease of Pornographic and Gaming delivery to the patients is not enough to redeem it in my eyes.

Yes, most worthy Dracovox, you are the Master of Spin, as you demonstrated in your superb handling of the downfall of “The Terror of The Lord”! It invokes awe. Hardly a ripple among from among them, very hush-hush, (because it is of the most delicate nature!), and so this climate enabled that attempt to restore him at Fakeland. How easily these gutless wonders forgive and forget– witness the Newlyweds! And look how our patients forget every proven false word and forgive every bizarre vision the Certifiably says because it is from the Enemy. You larded ‘the Prophetic Movement’ with enough caveats to get the Certifiably off any hook–so brilliant! No stoning of false prophets is called for, because predictions are conditional (enough people evidently repented, so…) Or the Enemy decided to delay things for some reason, or (best of all) the ‘maturing’ of the gifts is necessary so prophets can’t be held to 100% accuracy. What is Accuracy anyway? What is Truth? So excellently has my dear brother Screwtape moved the goalposts, that not even standards of competence remain for this generation. Scrumptious.

You are a manipulater as skillful as my dear sibling, and I bow before your amazing skill. I understand completely why the Ludicrous Buffoon and his Atrophy Wife were assigned as your patients–clearly there needs to be a master of damage control, well in charge. Yet I am uneasy about the Ludicrous Buffoon’s relaunch. I don’t think awareness is where we want it to be; note that the YouTube videos are still getting plenty of jeers and not enough advocates carrying the David and Bathsheba message–we must disable comments there! Even his own handlers are questioning the wisdom of his return to “ministry”; saying, “too soon, much too soon—wasn’t the sweet couples ‘confession’ taped just two months ago”? And now the Ludicrous Buffoon is onstage at our Point of Sale? No, not appropriate, not even for this group of patients. Can’t we send the Newlyweds on a honeymoon trip to Haiti, where they can set up some orphanages and hospitals? They are in desperate need of some credibility, and such a move would be purgative in the eyes of his target market, who are restive about this.

We’ve played on our patient’s confusion of good works and “fruit of the Spirit” very effectively in positioning others for the mainstream. We had the Mother Teresa  Barbie on CBN, doing her Jesus-Is-the- Best-Lover-Ever shtick–and she even falls out of her chair in her ecstasies! (We must reassess the Bridal Paradigm and how far to push it. The patients will soon be having orgies in front of the altars, and the guilt and shame of that might be devastating in it’s impact–we might awaken their reason!)

Mother Teresa Barbie’s public lasciviousness gets a pass from the gullible because of her  work with orphans in Mozambique. So it is simple! The Ludicrous Buffoon’s purification ritual doesn’t have to be for too long; we know what a cash cow he is for his handlers, so they won’t have to part with him too long. I recommend Haiti at the soonest.

Remember, we are seeking to launch the Atrophy as a serious Woman Of God, even a teacher! This campaign been seriously compromised by two unfortunate episodes. Certifiably’s “casting curses off” at our Point of Sale was not such a good move. Then so soon after that, the Oral Roberts Impartation. Discourage wild headshaking like “Snake Lady” for this patient as yet—since Exstasis is only at the pull promotion stage here. There is not enough demand for it. No-one, not even those we’ve hammered with our “offend the mind” message, wants to look that overtly possessed. Yet. Please rein in your pupils here. I like to have fun with the patients as well as the next tempter, but our overall campaign to make these movements mainstream will be compromised with these over-the-top behaviors.

We have strained our patients credulity with these untimely events. These will soon be YouTube staples: Imagine the titles: Prophecy: Shoes and Shunnamites? and then there is: Some Necromancy With Oral Roberts; or “A Dead Elephant in the Middle of the Bentley Living Room” or… Oh dear. I fear we may be losing control of our message, and may be risking this entire campaign.

But we’re good here pushing the same-old same-old, “hungry” call-to-action motivator–and I am hungry just thinking of the Buffoon, now aping the old-time preacher man–that southern twang and hyper-accented syllable at the end of his sentences. So old-timey and comforting to his target market.  Hungry!

Yes, so hungry for YOU, you Ludicrous Buffoon, and all such pathetic idolators. Hungry for you to join us in the wonderful buffet, given in your honor by Our Father Below. Luscious.

Yes, hungry, but we must be leery of overconfidence.

Our strategy has been greatly effective, yet frankly I worry that we are growing careless, and too sure of ourselves. We can still lose this demographic of patients. Let’s call a meeting of principals from the various channels to work out the overall campaign–I think we need some serious SWOT analysis.  We can brainstorm over breakfast at the the House of Correction for Incompetent Tempters. Sound good to you?

I am ravenously hungry just thinking about it.

Your Fellow Principal Spirit,
SHREWSHAPE

* For “The Vindication of Ernie Gruen”,  an interview obtained by the Greycoats before the death of Mr. Gruen, I am so grateful.  The False Prophetic have been experts at editing their history.  This report cannot be refuted.

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Letter to Bill Johnson From “A Child”

September 27, 2009

Dear Bill,

I’m writing because a lot of us kids are not happy about what you and your friends are doing. I heard you want us to be one big happy family. I want that too, especially if you all play NICE (like no stuff I see on GOD-TV: no electrocutions of people!) so first I’ve gotta know some things. Our Daddy In Heaven says there are bad people out there who just LOOK like his kids, but aren’t, and that they actually want to HURT us so he says we have to be careful about playing with strangers. I’m not saying you are a stranger Bill, but you sure do some strange things!

Like you and your friends do things that our Daddy doesn’t let US do, such as   tell people to give them their money so then they’ll get rich, and also BULLYING others!!! Like your BFF, that guy with the tats! (Remember him, that one you tried to explain about, and you said,  “Have you seen him with his wife? Have you seen him with his kids?  I have.” ) He did VERY bad things like head-butting a man with a very sick tummy right where it hurt SO BAD and lying that he was healed. He died!) and I know our Daddy would want us to stop people from doing these very bad things. So this is very confusing to me.

And Daddy always likes us to be very well-behaved in public, so we don’t give the wrong impression to other kids, ’cause then they won’t want to be adopted into our family, so this is real sad ’cause Daddy loves those stray kids. I’m sorry to say this to you Bill, but I’ve seen you on TV with some very WEIRD people, like that snakelady who shook her head and hissed some strange words, (and I sure wouldn’t want to be in HER family!) You should tell her to mind her manners better! And everybody acting drunk! Everybody knows Daddy doesn’t like people being drunk. Or even worse, some of your friends pretend to smoke baby Jesus and toke the Ghost, and call that the HOLY SPIRIT!!! That is naughty!

And you and your friends always preach about stupid stuff too, like girly looking angels with feathers that fall, and drop gold dust, (and then Emma became a him, that is so weird!!!) and who wants to hear about angels anyway? I don’t need my ears tickled. I don’t need Glory Clouds. I need to hear about JESUS!!! And then there’s porta potties taking people to Heaven (what’s up with that!!!) Bill, in all that stupid stuff, I never hear much about what Daddy’s best son did on the cross to bring us home to him! Yes, Jesus is all I want to talk or sing about.Your songs are sooo boring too, singing over and over again, until you’ve gotten yourselves practically hypnotized; and you sing scary stuff, like  “fire fall down on us we pray.”  Wouldn’t fire burn you?? It is all VERY STRANGE, this fire!

Daddy helps us to be orderly in public, so I don’t think his training is bad at all, (if that is what you meant, that ’cause we don’t like this kind of weird stuff, that our “training is defective”). He asks us to read his letters a lot so we remember what pleases him. We love him so much we read his letters over and over again, because he uses such wise words. I reeallllly think you should read his letters more Bill, your talking might be better!   And you won’t teach wrong stuff such as “the anointing Jesus received at his baptism was the equipment necessary to make  it possible for Jesus to live beyond human limitations.”   Then you said Jesus was born again.  Someone smart told me this is the kenotic heresy.    So read Daddy’s letters more  and all your talking might not have so many mistakes in it.

Daddy always says when you love the true things it is easy to understand his words. So just use short sentences and no hard words, like how  you said we have to give up “denominationalism.” I think denominations are a good thing Bill, like someone smart once said, “Denominations mean that somebody somewhere still believes something.”

So I have this question for you, Bill, and I sure hope it doesn’t hurt your feelings like last time someone asked you a question like this and it seemed like you were ready to cry! Well, you swallowed hard a lot. Anyway, Bill, here it is: Are you sure it is “in GOD’S name” you and your friends do what you do?

Your friend, I hope,

Karen Butler

Author update, 2009 : Mr. Johnson came to town just recently, perhaps to decree some apostley things for us all, as is his wont. Perhaps he has decreed we are a cancer-free zone now, like his hometown of Redding?  So, I updated  this piece I wrote  when we left a church very dear to us because they aligned with Bill Johnson’s Bethel Church, an organization our children named “The Kick Your Face Crew.” That moniker is in response to Johnson’s protege, Todd Bentley, whose notorious initiation into the deeper things of God was when he kicked a worshiping old woman in the face with his biker boot in obedience to the prompting of the (Holy?) Spirit.

The video I used to link to this letter, and set it  in its context, has been pulled from YouTube. Sad.  It was so easy to spot that judgmental spirit sitting heavy on the brow of the one who tells us we may not judge. But scroll down the page of the last link in the letter above. There is the text, but without those tears he choked back, when he delivered it at his pulpit in Bethel, his usual ad hominem attack of critics (…” Have you seen Todd with his wife and kids?”…But sadly, Bill, we have! We have seen Todd abandon them for an adulterous relationship!  And a re-marriage that is completely unscriptural). Johnson defends the charlatan there with no biblical support, propping up Bentley’s seeming integrity.  Johnson’s lack of discernment reached its peak in the in the falseness so evident when stood at the podium at Todd’s commissioning ceremony, with its parade of lying prophecies and weird manifestations.  Within weeks Bentleys’ debauched nature was clearly evident to all with eyes that see.

There can be no more defense of  Todd Bentley. Reputable journalists such as World Magazine  and the producers of Nightline have agreed with the bloggers who first sounded the alarm about Lakeland’s blatant charlatanism.  The  record of  supposed healings and dead-raisings is non-existent. Ample documentation is online regarding the gnostic and new age practices of Johnson and his friends among the International Coalition of Apostles.

My friend M’Kayla writes about some of these issues on her excellent blog. She has had experience as a leader in the Healing Rooms, and was trained in the Sozo style of prayer Johnson popularized. Now she is effectively demonstrating the unbiblical roots of this movement, and ministering to the brokenness of those coming out of the Extreme Prophetic.

And Craig at CrossWise is an encyclopedia for all things Bill Johnson, and the Latter Rain Movement. Because many of us believe Bill is the most dangerous of them all, because he is  the most wiley and the most winsome.

The sickest thing in the theology of this man is that he says he  does not “allow for sickness.” How is that working for you and your wife, Bill? I know it doesn’t work  for me nor myown.  I do not understand the callous theology of those who would say to a paraplegic like my gentle and humble brother-in-law, that the reason he was not healed when Johnson  prayed for him was that my brother did not have enough faith. Words fail. And thanks be to God,  my brother-in-law’s  faith has not.

And let this be said of all who have passed through their strange fire, that it has not burned them.