Posted tagged ‘John Crowder’

The Shrewshape E-Mails, To: Wormsponge Re: A Caution

January 12, 2010

“The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to texts of Scripture, is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn.”—Luther


You must listen to the counsel of your mentor here: our patient must never know we are laughing at her. That was much too bold a move, my dear niece–your hilarious laughter that even Beni Johnson heard, after she blew her shofar, rang her bell, and screamed the proof of her credulousness. I would have laughed too, as she was pulling out of the rest stop in her RV; but, my worthy apprentice, as dreary as this sounds, self-control is of the utmost importance at this critical point. We almost have them completely set apart for our Father Below. Others of her sort, albeit, the ones who really check out and believe the Enemy’s fiendish words, are shocked by this whole episode.

So there is danger here–way too much blogging on and on about it, and laughing! Though you know how our group of patients likes to “offend the mind” and all, yet they hate to be laughed at! The shame of appearing ridiculous might awake our patient’s reason, and we can’t have that at all! Until our control of the Internet is sealed in her territory–though I have it on good authority that one of our “Czars” will move on this any day–there is simply Too Much Information out there, and our patient may notice the laughter, and actually begin to think! so you must be more circumspect.

Or her husband may get wind of it, and he might begin to see how silly your delicious scheme makes them out to be, and put a stop to it. You know how careful he is of his image, to always look like a reasonable and careful teacher of those Vile Words… though he too is completely taken in by our Favorite Perverted False Prophet!!!  The Certifiably Insane–because, that is the definition of insanity isn’t it, that you keep ‘doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results’.  Different, like an actual true word from that one we have so messed up! LOL!

Too, too ironic for words! That genius Dracovox has got all of the leaders of the Sewer Movement to believe those ridiculous words the Certifiably says, but still, the shoe-Shunnamite thing the “prophet’s” wife just spoke may just be going a little too far! We are all getting much too overconfident of this group! …I must dash a note off to Dracovox about his pupil … Our patient’s husband must seem mainstream! That is our marketing plan, we are positioning him to influence all the Points of Sale, not just the ones we control. He must not have his suspicions roused, nor any one of his acolytes, nor the larger pool of patients. Be careful not to reveal our hand in this, my dear.

Hah! Little hope for them of that, since my dear brother Screwtape so efficiently removed all the signposts a generation ago. Or, as one of our patient’s acolytes simpered recently at one of our Points of Sale, “I’m just not a Bible person…”, which in her mind means, “I’m not one of those awful Pharisees! Those legalists! I just think it’s important to love our fallen brothers and sisters, and not be so judgmental! After all, David sinned, and blah, blah blah!” Ah, my brother Screwtape is a brilliant manipulator! We must emulate him at every point.

We’ve got good traction on that Groupthink.  We’ve made them so afraid of “touching the Lord’s anointed” (my own little genius twist on that phrase!) So our patients never check what is said by our Mouthpieces against the filthy lies in that Diabolical Book they claim is their inspiration for all the wacky words we put in their minds! Wacky words? …or should I say “Wakey, Wakey words*?”

It is choice, my dear niece, simply choice, what you suggested to the acolyte’s mind, and she thinks it is the Enemy who put those words there!…no wonder you gave way to the impulse to laugh (you have my greatest sympathy) but really my dear, I must caution you to control yourself! Our patient may catch on!

Doubtful as it is at this point, since her mind seems to be completely given over to a love of our lies. And Most Importantly! How she loves her feelings, those wonderful manifestations we provide her that she believes are a gift from the Enemy. Brilliant strategy concocted by Our Father Below! None of our wonderfully deluded patients must ever, ever see those kundalini Yoga worshipers’ YouTube videos, or the urgent warning posted with them, and until we get them removed, see that your patient never so much clicks anywhere near where they may be posted. If she sees how her behavior in her “worship” of the Enemy exactly matches the “unsaved” she will begin to doubt her feelings, and this she must never, never be allowed to do.  We have already put the spin on kundalini, that it is a redemptive link to the culture, and those practicing this kind of yoga are only longing for the real form of worship it imitates.  Or something like that. But to see it is another thing.

Oh, and they think they are bringing “revival” wherever they shout those words! Too rich. Death of the real thing in their hearts, rather! “Wakey, wakey”–not a chance, not while they are “whacked”– just the way we like them to stay. Hah! In that state, they will always be ignorant of our devices! Still, we must be careful, it isn’t over till it is over. Till they never wake again, except to be safely awake in Our Father’s House, forever! LOL!!! So, Wormsponge, though I hate that virtue of prudence, we must exercise it here. No more “Angelic” laughter discernible to the patients!

your affectionate Auntie

*HT to for this “choice” of words.  It was  M’Kayla’s hilariously sad post which inspired this satire. And she does a great job of eviscerating the poor judgement of Beni Johnson, wife of Bill Johnson there.  And to to Chrystal, of  “Slaughtering the Sheep”, and PJ Miller of ” Sola Dei Gloria”, who also provided me with links.

Thank you Father,  for all that these hardworking bloggers do to expose the apostasy and warn God’s people of the dangers of the False Prophetic Movement!