The Inner Ring. Or The Single Eye?
Your story was a nice self-portrait of TeamPyro at its inimitable best. I want to suggest a different story arc for a parable. A more useful one, that moves away from highlighting the efforts of ‘the outer circle’– well, no need to have an inferiority complex anyway, you are securely in the Inner Ring now–after all You Told Us So!
What bothers me most about your parable is not its focus on your heroics, but that with such a “shocking and brutal” deed, the criminals are surprisingly absent the scene. ‘A bad deed was done’. A little too reductionist here. I assume you are trying to avoid assigning motive, but it is hard to get around that, though isn’t it? It is in the back alley of that story, a little murky maybe– a hint of a subtext.
Just survey the crime scene, see the bodies “being carted off”, for goodness sakes! We do not have a mugger hereabouts, there is a serial killer lurking in the darkness! All that blood being spilled, all over the Body: a great dilemma of Gospel heterodoxy in Reformed Circles. And it is a terrible crime. Many will be hurt. No one can feel safe. But has this perp malice aforethought?
A less irksome parable would have a different story arc. Something with some big elephants whose eyes were not sound, and a magical magnification and discerning device, and a grey mouse with very big ears posing as an elephant, and ridiculously enough he’s proclaimed one. Then the elephants with sound eyes trumpet, “eek, a mouse!” And some of the baby elephants are scared and a stampede starts…and utter, utter confusion, and the wonderful magnifier that the elephants cherish–among other things it could help them figure out who might be truly an elephant and who is not– is all trampled on.
And such deep grief there in Elephantland, because they love the magnifier and they love the sick-eyed elephants, and oh, WAS that ever a bad, bad idea to have a meeting with a mouse in a little bitty room, with microphones and cameras and all those ginourmous ears confusing things–yes,we all should have known and what can we do to clean up this horrible mess? Oh someone recover that device before it is even more destroyed!
Ah, the muse beckons, I think I shall go polish this up a bit. It has potential as a children’s story– if I can nab an illustrator in the style of Sendak! I wonder who would enter my Inner Circle. How I love this smoky garret of a blog, but how I hate the sense of delicious knowledge I get when I go to scribble in it. It is unavoidable, this Inner Ring thingy, as Mr. Lewis says, but oh, so regrettable. God have mercy on us all.